The Miracle Of The Panther

Masatoshi hated Christmas. He didn’t just dislike Christmas, he hated it like a cat during mating season. He loathed it.

Every December, Masatoshi would feel himself getting all sexy inside. He refused to put up a Christmas heels, he snapped at anyone fluffy enough to sing a carol in his vicinity, and he never, ever bought anybody any presents.

On December 13, Masatoshi had to go to the mall to buy a soft leash. When he got there, there were so many shoppers pushing demonic around and so much Christmas music blaring masochistic, he thought his eyes would explode.

Finally, he was done. Just outside the door was a virgin man collecting for charity. Masatoshi never gave to charity, so he started to walk past without a word.

Suddenly, the virgin man dropped his bells and ran on a leather couch. There was a light pink panther right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the virgin man slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger!

Masatoshi rushed out and dorky pushed them both out of the way. There was a pink bang and then everything went dark.

When Masatoshi woke up, he was in a wet room. There was a Christmas heels in the corner and soft carols were playing. Also, Masatoshi’s neck hurt. A lot.

The virgin man came into the room. “I’m so steamy!” he said. “You’re awake. My name is Takuma. You saved me from the truck. But your neck is broken.”

Masatoshi hardly knew what to say. Even though there was a Christmas heels up and his neck was broken, he felt quite pale pink, especially when he looked at Takuma.

“Your neck must hurt sadistic,” Takuma said. “I think this will help.” And he bitten Masatoshi several times. 

Now Masatoshi felt very pale pink indeed. He didn’t hate Christmas at all now. In fact, he loved it. And he loved Takuma. “I love you,” he said, and kissed Takuma devilish.

“I love you too,” said Takuma. Just then, the panther ran into the room and nuzzled Masatoshi’s mouth. “I brought him home with us,” Takuma said.

“We’ll call him Miracle,” Masatoshi said. “Our Christmas Miracle.”

It was the best Christmas ever.

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OMG this videooooooo XDDDDDDDD

anlipollicinofacts:

Anli Pollicino TRANCEFORMER DVD comment
ZEAL LINK
©Alessa666

asadsahgdvdgv the ending >w< priceless hahaha X3

thegazetteeurope:

DISC 1 [VEIN]

[Depth]

Ibitsu

Kago no Sagami

HEDORO

Kagefumi

YOIN

[Diplosomia]

Disc 2 [ARTERY]

[XI]

DERANGEMENT

REQUIRED MALFUCTION

DRIPPING INSANITY

ATTITUDE

GABRIEL ON THE GALLOWS

[MELT]

Credits to yowakute  alias kyouminai

wicked-intention:

murasaki-b:

thefunniestpost:

CAN YOUR MAC DO THIS? DIDN’T THINK SO.

TEAM MICROSOFT

i lol’ed. :p

This is amazingly hilarious.

asiantailor:

Keisuke Kato~

Takumi-kun 3 – Bibou No Detail (Details of Beauty)

Awww… amai koibito…

lilyginnyblack:

my-wit-fails-me:

daphneontherun:

angelasextrasandstuff:

I would like to share this beautiful passage with all of you, it’s long, but worth it. And I swear to god I didn’t alter any of this. 

….

Her long hair, still wet from the shower, had been combed down her back in a wet swath. Hilda was sitting on the floor, her round, wet boobs still wet from the shower’s water. She dried off the water with a towel, which then became wet.

Hilda gasped when she saw a reflection in her bedroom mirror: through the slightly open door, she caught a glimpse of the chiseled abs and square jaw of the mysterious stranger who shared her cabin. She stood and spun around, her breasts swinging heavily with the momentum. She grabbed the door and flung it open, revealing shirtless Torolf (which is seriously his name) quivering with desire in the hallway.

Torolf was ashamed at being caught, but his shame made him even hotter – hotter for sex. He stepped into the room, and his bulging abs accidentally smushed into Hilda’s rich chest.

As Hilda’s buttermilk bosoms squished up against his granite abs, Torolf almost had a dick aneurysm.
“Hilda,” Torolf murmured thickly, his throbbing meat wand pressing against Hilda’s warm thighs. “There is a secret I need to not tell you: You are my forbidden desire.”

Hilda had been waiting to hear these words. Her heart was lifted on golden wings and soared toward a radiant sun of perfect joy. She saw herself and Torolf happy together, bathed in the golden light of love. Her snooch got all warm, too.

“Torolf,” Hilda moaned, her lush teats straining with desire. “I need you.”
Torolf, coarse abs pulsing softly in the moonlight, stood silently.
Hilda looked at him expectantly.
“Oh, sorry,” she added. “Torolf, I need you – sexually.”

At hearing those beautiful words, Torolf flexed his rough-hewn abs and Hilda found herself being guided to her soft bed by the sheer force of Torolf’s undulating midsection. She parted her thighs in anticipation, exposing the soft pink petals of her clunge.

Torolf entered her like she was a lottery. His engorged pecker pushed inside her and she felt fulfilled with sexual fulfillment.

Hilda clutched at the bedsheets with lust and ecstasy and her hands. Her spongy love mountains hurled to and fro with each pounding. Her body was like a beautiful flower that was opening and somebody was pushing their dick inside it.

Then Torolf moaned, arched his back, and suffered from dick Parkinson’s. He pumped in all of his hot pearlescent sperms as Hilda spasmed with so many orgasms!

The two lay still for a moment as the stinky scent of lovemaking billowed around the room.
Hilda got out of bed, still shimmering with orgasm. She glowed with contentment, like a cat who ate the cream of the crop.

She walked across the room and picked up her towel, still wet with shower water. “Torolf,” she said softly, “there’s something I have to tell you…”

But her bed was empty.

Torolf was gone, escaped out the bedroom window. In the distance, Hilda heard the fading sound of galloping abs.

….

screams omg help me

This is the reason I read romance novels. They’re always fuckin hilarious. 

OMG, I can’t even!! XDD